The Tale of the Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now...

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and 4 yr old grandson.

The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together every night at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up."

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

How far should adult children help their parents?

Many people would say right away that parents are responsible for their children, and they should provide as much as their capabilities allow. However, what about children? Are they expected to return the favor? I mean chances are many parents sacrificed, worked hard, and tried not to deny their children materials, trips, and experiences.

So, if parents are in need of some financial assistance (assuming they were good and responsible people), should their adult children help them? Some would say a definite yes, and others would say no. I know in the U.S. and some other nations, the government offers a social security or related programs. So parents don't need to depend on their children for everything. This doesn't work for other nations. Many parents live with their children, and depend on them for financial assistance.

Just how much should parents depend on their children? Should adult children comply even if they are not capable (because of all the sacrifices their parents went through for them?)? These are tough questions. I think the most important is trying to find a balance. This should be discussed with your own parents, and then try to come up with a reasonable solution.

Who ever said parenting is easy, must not be a serious parent!

Parenting is perhaps one career that gets unappreciated for its tasks and responsibilities. Parents' work never ends when parenting. They are parenting twenty-four hours per day, seven days per week. If the parent is not with the child, then chances are he or she is on call--ready for any type of emergency. It is not easy to parent, yet why do so many people criticize each other when it comes to parenting?

True, some parents don't parent well. They born children into this world for the wrong reasons. Yet, you have parents who may sacrifice their lives for their children, with some turning out well, and others not. Sometimes, societal pressures don't help parents. Often times, it is considered cool to rebel or give parents attitude.

Parenting is a huge responsibility. However, parents and other institutions can work and help each other, such as schools, summer camps and civic organizations. Each institution offers something invaluable in raising children. Not only do children benefit from these opportunities, so do parents as well. Often times, it is difficult for parents to realize their children are not "perfect". Many deny there may be something wrong with their child, academically or emotionally. However, parents must think of the child's best interests. This will help the child in the long run.

Children are mirrors of parents and family. They mimic their parents as part of the learning process towards adulthood. One of my dreams is to ensure that all children live a rich and happy childhood, so that they can make this possible for their children. Remember parents, don't feel ashamed or embarrassed if you need to seek assistance for your child or children. You will be doing them a favor and society a favor, as well as yourself.

I told him, but I forgot about me

My spouse and I went out of town car hunting. My brother met us at the car dealership. After we were finished, I told my brother that if he was going to come see our parents who lived in my town, to take the tollway because the roads are better cleaned due to a snow storm we had. I told him that we saw about 6 cars in the ditch when we had taken a free way. We then parted our ways. My spouse and I were discussing the outcomes of our car hunting, when we ended up taking the free way again. I chuckled a bit because I had emphasized to my younger brother to take the tollway because the roads were too dirty. My spouse and I totally forgot about that, and we ended up taking the free way. I just shook my head, and I said "Wow, I can't believe I reminded my brother, but forgot to follow that advice."

I learned a lesson. Take care of yourself because you are now responsible for your spouse and child(ren).

Kind acts do exist

Good old fashioned neighborly acts still exist today. It was observed that a young, male adult used his snow blower to clean up his parents' driveway, then their neighbor's driveway, and cleaned up sidewalks that ran along with four homes. No one had asked him to do this, his mother said. He just did it from the goodness of his heart, for humanity.

It is awesome when a kind human does some random act of kindness. Way to go. There is still good in this world.